Suspicious Minds

Recently, a storm has been brewing… things I never dreamed of being possible somehow are falling into place: I am now addicted to CONSPIRACY THEORIES.

My sister and brother kept gabbling on about some crazy shit, and I was all ‘ohhhh don’t be silly *insert purile white girl giggle here*’. BUT NOW HOLY SHIT THE WORLD IS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!!!! It doesn’t take any genius to see society at large is and always has been mega fucked up in it’s various ways of destroying the soul, but some things many people think are innocent- then never properly think about- reallllyyy should be examined under a closer eye. I’m not gonna make out I’m a conspiracy expert finding these things out by myself, ahaha I am merely a hideous procrastinator who can spend hours absorbed in the wierd side of Youtube away from fucking Zoella and all her inspid minions (if you like Zoella, sorry but not sorry please go live your own life babes).  I’m just gonna include my top three conspiracies I’ve heard of so far for brevitys sake, BUT ONCE YOU START FALLING DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE IT IS MORE ADDICITIVE THAN STUFFING YOUR STONED AS FUCK GOBHOLE WITH YUMYUMS !!!!!!!!!!

1- MICHAEL JACKSON WAS MURDERED BY THE ILLUMINATI.
I know the offical cause of death was an overdose and his doctor went to jail, but what if that’s a cover-up? What if someone/somebodies *THE ILLUMINATI* hired the doctor to do their bidding because Michael wanted out of some fucked up shit, and they couldn’t risk him whistleblowing? I imagine him wearing those diamond gloves singing like “It don’t matter if you’re black or white, ohhh yeahhh WE ARE ALL DOOMED BY THE ILLUMINATI ANYWAYS”!!!!! Even his daughter has said she thinks people are hiding the truth, that her dad repeatedly expressed fears of being ‘got rid of’… Research it more yourself, if you so please, but whatever you think: Respect and rest in peace the King of pop. xox

2- THE KARDASHIANS ARE IN THE ILLUMINATI.
This one seemed a bit far fetched at first, like how everyone says Beyonce is queen of the illuminati- I’m just like errrr nope SHE IS QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE. Anyways, the more I mulled it over the more it made sense. Like why are they so famous? There’s plenty of fake ass rich bitches doing nothing that actually makes a positive impact on the world, so why the fuss over this one particular family? They buy millions of followers to give the impression that they’re more influential and important than in reality, and they do this in order to subliminally brainwash us all into being like them: not giving a fuck about  who is actually suffering in this world, or who is controlling who suffers. As we’re all obsessed with why Kylie’s lips are now no longer ridiculous (I don’t wanna throw shade, girl power and all that but yeah she was 15 when the fakeness came to fruition- gotta love that sexualisation of minors); buying weight loss lollypops from a woman whose ass is so fat it literally deserves to have its own planetal orbit, THE WORLD IS IN A SODDING STAGE OF EXTINCTION. idk about you, but for me its illuminati confirmed.

3- MISSING MALASYIAN FLIGHT WAS HIJACKED BY ALIENS
This one is harder to explain because there’s so many steps to the story adding up. Safe to say, even if the evidence isn’t true and is really a hoax, it’s still creepy af. The video I watched to find this one out was:    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbwR_uHhiI0

I think the reason I am so fucking into conspiracy theories is that they fuel my incessant paranoia and distrust of authority figures/the wider world- one of my best qualities! I remember even when I was little, my fucked up little brain was concocting some truly bizarre ‘conspiracy’ theories; like how I thought that whenever I turned my back or closed my eyes that people turned into monsters. Or how I thought I was gonna go to hell for some shit I did and my sister found me crying next to the bathtub about it- ahah not really a conspiracy: I really am gonna go to hell and IT WILL BE LIT HUNTYS!!!!

But- I try to make this blog a place of positivity (not just sensless blabber), so of course there is indeed a moral message to all this. Worring all the time about what may or may not be happening is not the one. If your’e scared of something, be active and try to change that situation! Trying to feel safe by inventing and determining- with no actual proof- what other people are thinking is worthless. It’s a way to feel like your dealing with the problem, but actually your’e just stagnating in a tangle of thoughts that will never be useful unless you put words into actions! But if there’s no way to activley solve your own personal life’s ‘conspiracy’ theories, stop entertaining your demons and go distract yourself with some entertaining conspiracy theories; redirect that immense imagination of yours!!! And remember, never trust a Kardashian…

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO